


What I've Been Living For

by pastmydancingdays



Series: All The Loveless Land [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: All The Loveless Land Coda, First Time, M/M, Making Love, minor character death (mention)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 00:51:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7955725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastmydancingdays/pseuds/pastmydancingdays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Those of you who've read <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3795652/chapters/8450587">All The Loveless Land</a> will have seen Bones and Alfie's relationship grow throughout the fic, and I think some of you wanted to read something more about them. So, as promised, here's an Alfie/Bones oneshot, following straight on from their final scene in Chapter 35. </p><p>You can try and read the fic on its own, but it'll make a lot more sense if you've read All The Loveless Land!</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I've Been Living For

As he held the precious pictures of Joanna in trembling hands, Jim crouched before him, it was difficult for Leonard not to fall apart entirely. Here, on this battered old padd, were the remnants of his treasured daughter, digital, and transferable, and blessedly real. Her face was just as he remembered it; her cheeks flushed with joy, and her eyes as heterochromatic as her father’s. He’d cried for her many times, but on this particular occasion, it was different. While he would never let her go, there was something akin to closure in seeing her face again. It felt almost as if she was giving him her blessing.

It was that thought that pulled Leonard from the mire of bittersweet memories; the thought of Alfie soon being released, and wondering where he was, made his gut churn.

‘Alfie’ll be here soon.’

He looked up just in time to see Spock’s hand settle upon Jim’s neck, easy and unconsidered, and his chest ached with longing for that kind of intimacy with his own love.

‘Would you like us to remain with you?’ Spock asked kindly, and although he knew it came out of concern for him, the idea of the two of them being in the room while he clumsily tried to express his feelings made him baulk.

‘Thanks, but no,’ he replied, lips twitching into a tremulous smile, getting to his feet. ‘I’m… I’m glad for the holos, and I’ll be even gladder when I can sort things out with Alfie.’

‘Are you going to tell him how you feel? I know you love him, Bonesy, and we’re safe now, so there’s no reason not to.’

Jim’s words were blunt, and while once Leonard would have denied any such feelings, terrified as he now was, he was ready to tell the truth.

‘I know.’ He dragged the back of his hand across sore eyes, squinting at the access light. ‘I am. He deserves that, at least.’

‘As do you,’ Spock added, and Leonard couldn’t help but smile, his breath catching as the light went green.

He couldn’t speak in his eager anticipation – and his dreadful nerves – so with a tiny smile, he swept past them towards the door behind which his Alfie was waiting, slamming his hand down on the release button. Leonard’s heart hammered as he saw him standing uncertainly at the other end of the room, looking altogether too pale for his liking. There was clear vulnerability in his shy smile, and he seemed to have lost weight, but he was there, and _alive,_ and Leonard’s mood soared. Slipping the padd into his Medikit, he rushed forwards, dizzy with joy, and pulled him into his arms. Alfie clutched desperately at him, hands smoothing over his arms and chest before settling at the back of his neck, and Leonard held him tight, mouthing lightly at his temple. He threaded his fingers into Alfie’s gorgeous dark hair, inhaling his familiar smell with an unexpected thrill of arousal, and shivered in relief. How easily he could have lost him.

Pulling back slightly, he felt the resistance in Alfie’s arms, and held him tighter in response, soothing him wordlessly. He couldn’t help the giddy smile that crossed his face, heat rising in his cheeks as Alfie’s hands came to rest on his chest, soft grey eyes warm and wide. The urge to kiss him was unbearable, and for all his nerves, Leonard couldn’t repress his feelings any longer.

‘I’m sorry I’ve kept you waitin’ so long, darlin’,’ he said thickly, fighting hard to keep his voice from cracking. ‘I love you, Alfie.’

The terror of his confession hanging in the air was soon eclipsed by his desperate need to comfort as Alfie let out a choked sob, his hands curling ever tighter into the fabric of Leonard’s shirt. Without a second of hesitation, Leonard leant down to finally, _finally_ kiss him, exhaling a shuddering breath into his mouth as their lips met. It was chaste at first, their mouths moving slowly together, but when Leonard slid his tongue over the seam of his lips, Alfie let out a wanton moan that made his belly fizz, and Leonard stopped restraining himself. He lapped his way into Alfie’s mouth, his pleasure at the wet warmth and the somewhat timid response making itself known in the shaky sigh that escaped him, his hands sliding open-palmed over Alfie’s back.

‘Congratulations!’

The unexpected shout made them break rapidly apart, and when Alfie saw who it was, he buried his face in Leonard’s shoulder with a burning blush. Leonard had no such time for embarrassment, especially not with Jim, whose relationship he’d unfortunately been all too privy to on many occasions in the past three years.

‘Jim, get the fuck out of here right now,’ he spat, cradling Alfie protectively as he angled his body away from the door.

He snatched one of his collection of stress balls out of his pocket and threw it towards Jim’s back as he retreated with his husband, laughing with abandon.

‘I’m gonna throw you a party!’

‘Like _hell_ you are!' Leonard called after him, but the menace was gone by the time he’d finished his sentence, his infuriating laughter echoing back towards them.

Leonard’s breath left him in a heavy sigh, his head tipping forwards until his nose nuzzled into Alfie’s hair, sulking a little at the loss of their moment.

‘I love you too, if you hadn’t already realised,’ Alfie murmured, and Leonard froze, wondering if his longing to hear those words had made him aurally hallucinate. With a soft, teary laugh, Alfie tilted his head up, his hands rising to cradle Leonard’s face. ‘I’ve loved you for years, Leo. I’ve always been yours.’

Leonard’s giddy smile was stolen away by another kiss as Alfie tugged him gently down by his hair, and licked into his mouth, his tongue doing things that made Leonard’s stomach tighten. Sliding open palms down to cradle his hips, Leonard drew Alfie’s lower lip into his mouth and sucked softly, feeling the resulting moan in his pants. Knowing that it wouldn’t be long before someone walked in on them getting hot and heavy, he pulled reluctantly back.

‘Alfie,’ he rasped, soothing his disappointed whine with a few gentle, lingering kisses. ‘Sweetheart, I think it’s probably a good idea for us to go somewhere private.’

Alfie was pink-cheeked and breathless, and he looked up at Leonard from beneath long eyelashes as he nodded, worrying his lower lips between his teeth.

‘Probably. God, I’ll be so happy to not be sleeping in a biobed.’

Leonard smiled, unable to resist kissing him once more as he took his hand to lead him out.

‘I’ll be happy if you never have to sleep in one again for the rest of your life.’

‘Me too,’ Alfie murmured, his fingers tightening around Leonard’s. ‘It wasn’t like Medbay in quarantine. The staff are so… clinical.’

One of the Enterprise crewmembers – Johansson, Leonard believed – passed the other way down the corridor, staring quite openly at their linked hands. Raising an eyebrow, Leonard gave her a pointed look, and she hurried off with a flush, probably on her way to yet another accident.

‘I think most medics are like that, hon,’ he told Alfie, dodging a Tellarite as they turned the corner.

‘Not you, though. You’ve always been great with patients, even if you try and hide it behind all that bluster.’

Leonard flushed, the brush of Alfie’s thumb against the side of his palm making him shiver.

‘Bluster? I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

They had reached Leonard’s quarters in record time, and when there was only silence from Alfie in reply, Leonard turned to find a smile so openly adoring that his breath caught. One unsteady hand blindly found the door release, and he pulled Alfie into his temporary quarters with a smile of his own, idly considering the possibility that he’d smiled more in the last hour than he had in the past three years. Warm lips sought his the second that the doors closed, and after dropping the padd onto his desk, Leonard let his hands roam over the solid muscles of Alfie’s back, itching to lift his shirt and feel bare skin. Before that thought could go any further though, there was a great shudder from Alfie, and there was a wetness against Leonard’s face that made him draw back in alarm. Tears were dribbling down Alfie’s cheeks, and he scrubbed at them impatiently, his eyes not meeting Leonard’s.

‘Sorry, sorry. God, this is pathetic.’

‘It isn’t,’ Leonard said softly, aching for him. He drew Alfie against his chest, pressing a kiss against his soft hair. ‘It’s overwhelming, huh?’

Alfie nodded, trembling hands clutching at his shirt, and with a soft clucking sound, Leonard drew him over to the bed.

‘Lie down for me, sugar,’ he crooned, crawling onto the bed facing him when he complied. Those gorgeous grey eyes were watery as he cupped Alfie’s cheek, smoothing his thumb over the high arch of the bone there. ‘I’m sorry it took so long for me to pull my head out of my ass, darlin’. You shouldn’t have had to wait for me like that… though I’m grateful you did.’

Alfie’s fingers wrapped loosely around his wrist, thumb stroking over his pulse point as he turned his face into Leonard’s hand and kissed the heel of it.

‘I understand,’ he said hoarsely, his expression containing no signs of resentment.    

Unable to resist, Leonard kissed him softly, pulling back with a quiet hum of contentment, and watched the gentle blush steal across his face with a rush of joy.

‘I’m also sorry you were taken into quarantine on your own – I was pissed when they said I wasn’t allowed to see you.’

He nuzzled into him, skimming his nose along the jut of his jaw.

‘Don’t trust anyone else treatin’ you,’ he mumbled, pulling back to see his face. ‘I know I’ve been blind, Alfie, but I love you so much, and if you still want me, I’m yours.’

Alfie’s face lit up, a wide, wobbly smile forming as he cuddled into him, stroking over his bicep.

‘Of course I still want you,’ he said softly, a breathy laugh escaping him as he leant up. ‘I love you, Leonard.’

He pressed a gentle kiss to his lips which soon deepened, and Leonard’s breath hitched as he his thigh brushed against what felt like the beginnings of an erection, his own cock hardening in response. Alfie pulled away with a shudder as Leonard trailed his fingers along the strip of skin just above his trousers, panting against his mouth.

‘I’ve been waiting almost three years for you to make love to me,’ Alfie breathed, hovering above him, ‘but I can wait a little longer if you’re not ready.’

The steady glow of happiness that had reigned in Leonard since they had reunited became something molten, his hand threading into Alfie’s lovely long hair.

‘I’ve been ready since I met you, darlin’.’

Gently rolling Alfie onto his back, he bent to kiss him fiercely, allowing all the pent-up desire of the past few years to spill out with a ragged, breathy moan. This was the closest he’d known to bliss since his little girl’s birth, Alfie’s body rolling smooth beneath him as they kissed and kissed and kissed, his lips pulling from Alfie’s in a gasp for air before descending upon the arc of his neck. Alfie moaned long and low as he suckled at the smooth skin there, leaving soft pink marks in the wake of his mouth, and when he teased his fingers beneath the hem of his uniform shirt, Alfie arched up to let him remove it.

‘So beautiful, Alfie,’ Leonard murmured, exploring the solid pectorals and abdominals that were revealed with reverent hands. Despite the weight he had lost, Alfie was still thick with muscle, perfectly sculpted beneath him. ‘You’re unbelievably gorgeous.’

‘So are you, honey.’

Leonard shook his head embarrassedly, still in awe of the Greek god under his hands. Alfie’s eyes were soft as he tugged at Leonard’s own shirt, hands stroking lightly enough to make him shiver as he pulled it entirely off. Lips ghosted over his chest as Alfie leant forwards, soothing his feelings of inadequacy with warm kisses which pebbled his nipples and made his cock throb.

‘Gorgeous,’ Alfie purred, his hand rising to gently squeeze the bulge in his pants.

A broken moan tore from Leonard’s lips, his hips rolling into that careful hand, and when Alfie drew away, he used his own shaking hands to grasp questioningly at the button of his pants.

‘Go ahead,’ Alfie said softly, mirroring his movements until they had both wriggled desperately out of their trousers. Leonard sat astride him, feeling like his heart might burst out of his chest as he ran his hands over that gorgeous body, his mouth going dry at the sight of the straining fabric of Alfie’s boxers. Without another word, he bent down to press a series of lingering, worshipful kisses down his neck and over his chest, the light dusting of hair there unfamiliar, but nonetheless tantalising.

‘Gonna make you feel so good,’ he murmured, trailing a hand reverently over Alfie’s ribcage down towards his hip. ‘Gonna find all the places you’re sensitive, darlin’. Like… maybe here?’

Keeping his eyes on Alfie’s flushed face, he dragged his tongue over his nipple, delighting in the choked gasp and full-body shiver from beneath him.

 _‘Yeah,’_ he breathed, watching goosebumps rise in Alfie’s skin with a thrill of satisfaction. ‘I thought that might be one of them.’

Bending once more, he licked his way around the areola, then sealed his lips around it to suckle gently, riding the crest of Alfie’s body as he arched into his mouth, mewling. He was absolutely stunning, writhing beneath Leonard as he sucked and licked and kissed, Leonard’s own excitement growing along with each hoarse cry, and each soft tug of the hand tangled in his hair. The second’s gap between him moving his mouth from one side of Alfie’s chest to the other drew a whimper of protest, and Leonard smoothed a hand over his side to soothe him, pulling away only when Alfie’s back began to bow. Alfie was panting with exertion by the time he did so, nipples swollen and red, and he reached up to tug Leonard into a fierce kiss, hitching a knee up around his hip.

‘S’good, huh, baby?’ Leonard whispered between kisses, his erection throbbing almost painfully in his boxers. ‘Bet you could come like that one day. I love how responsive you are.’

Alfie pulled away from his mouth with a soft whine, fixing hazy eyes on his as he slid his hands up over Leonard’s shoulders, hips rocking against his thigh.

‘Need you.’

Leonard took his mouth again hungrily, in a brief, but passionate kiss that left him gasping as he slid his hand over Alfie’s belly to tug down his underwear. The desperate, awkward movements freed Alfie’s erection, long and thick and glistening with precome, and when Leonard wrapped his fingers around it, Alfie sobbed out his name, and semen spilled thickly over Leonard’s hand. Leonard was stunned for a moment, but he quickly recovered, his stomach tightening with arousal as he gently stroked Alfie’s cock.

‘You needed that, didn’t you, sugar?’ he crooned, milking the last few beads of come from him as he moaned and panted. ‘You’re so beautiful, Alfie. So lovely.’

Alfie shivered, his face growing steadily redder as he came back to himself, Leonard’s hand slipping from his softening cock.

‘God, that’s so embarrassing,’ he said nervously, his gaze resolutely avoiding Leonard. ‘You barely touched me.’

Leonard shook his head, trembling in his own need as he pressed his mouth to Alfie’s temple.

‘It’s been three years of waiting, darlin’, don’t be embarrassed. I’m about in the same state.’

Taking one of Alfie’s hands in his, he guided it towards his clothed erection, moaning unashamedly as Alfie timidly slipped his hand into his underwear. Soft grey eyes watched him devotedly as he rocked into that perfect grip, his breath stuttering out of him in little _‘ah, ah, ah’_ sounds at the sheer bliss of the warm tightness around his cock, and the intensity of the gaze upon him. One, two, three more strokes, and Leonard came undone, coming over Alfie’s hand and his own stomach with a choked cry.

Alfie’s free arm came around him in a protective hold as he rocked into that gentling grip, holding him warm and close. Sighing shakily, Leonard all but collapsed against him, melting into the loving kisses being pressed against his brow.

‘Love you,’ he whispered, aware of the stickiness coating his hand and stomach, but hardly caring.

As if he had read his mind, Alfie leant over the side of the bed to snatch up his abandoned shirt, wiping first Leonard, then himself, free of the mess. He tugged Leonard’s ruined underwear off, running a reverent hand over his chest.

‘I love you too,’ he smiled, before pulling him into a slow, warm kiss, his body tangling with Leonard’s once more as he rolled onto his back, guiding Leonard atop him. Parting from him after a few false starts, Alfie, red-lipped and glistening with sweat, lay back in apparent submission. His cock was already beginning to stir again, and Leonard was blindsided by an answering surge of arousal. It was impressively soon for a man his age, but considering how long he and Alfie had waited, Leonard wasn’t really surprised. ‘Come on, hon. I want you.’

Alfie’s murmured words were accompanied by a whisper of an open-mouthed kiss to his jaw, barely there, and all the more tantalising for it. Hands skimming over the warm, muscled expanse of Alfie’s torso, Leonard bent to drag his tongue down the fine line separating his pectorals and abdominals, smiling faintly as the suckling kiss he pressed to Alfie’s navel made him wriggle and laugh.

‘Ticklish?’ he asked innocently, allowing him only a second of respite before dragging his lips down the shallow curve of his hip towards his thigh. He caught a quiver there as he gently kissed the soft skin between his legs, purposefully avoiding his straining erection for the moment.

‘You still okay, darlin’?’ he murmured, stroking soothingly over his stomach. ‘We can stop at any time, you know.’

Alfie nodded, his eyes soft and his hair all in disarray as he lay back against the pillows, a contented smile playing at his lips.

‘I know, but I don’t want to. I want as much of you as I can get, if – if you’re still okay with that too.’

In reply, Leonard leant forward and gently kissed the wet head of his cock, hearing his breath catch with a thrill of satisfaction.

‘Oh, yeah,’ he breathed, stroking Alfie’s thigh as he shivered. ‘I’m a hell of a lot more than okay.’

He couldn’t say he was an expert at this – his experience with men all but non-existent – but he knew where was meant to be sensitive, knew where skin was thinnest and nerve endings were rife, and he’d use whatever knowledge he had to wring every last drop of pleasure out of Alfie if it killed him. Determined to see Alfie’s pleasure as well as hearing it, he kept his eyes fixed upon his flushed face as he took the head of his erection into his mouth, sucking gently. Alfie moaned long and low, his eyes half-lidded as his hips twitched in Leonard’s grip, one hand blindly threading into his hair. The taste of him was strange – unfamiliar – but not unpleasant, and certainly one that Leonard knew he could get used to. He flicked his tongue out against the frenulum that connected the head and the shaft, and Alfie let out a choked whine, the hand in his hair tightening.

Leonard pulled away for a moment, murmuring, ‘Easy, darlin’’, before pressing a series of open-mouthed kisses down the straining shaft towards his sac. He nipped gently at it, sucking first one ball into his mouth, then the other, letting Alfie’s ecstatic sigh of his name wash over him as he lapped his way right back up again. After another quick suckle that elicited a sharp cry, he withdrew, licking the salt from his lips.

‘It’s up to you how you want this to go,’ he said hoarsely, kneeling between his legs with a hand smoothing over his stomach. ‘I don’t mind what we do, sweetheart. It’s up to you.’

‘I-‘ Alfie cut himself off, clearly flustered. ‘I don’t mind either, but I think I’d quite like to feel…’

He blushed brightly, hiding his face under a well-toned arm. Leonard lay carefully over him with a grin, pressing a lingering kiss to his exposed mouth.

‘Should I guess, hmm? You want to be inside me?’

‘No,’ Alfie blurted, blushing ever darker. His arm slipped from over his eyes, the pupils of which were blown wide. ‘Well, yeah, but I’d like to try the other way first, I think.’

‘Whatever you want, sugar,’ Leonard said lovingly, his cock twitching at the thought. ‘I can’t say that doesn’t excite me.’

Alfie arched up to kiss him, and Leonard received him enthusiastically, cradling his cheek as their mouths moved slowly together, warm and wet and perfect. When they parted, it was only so that Leonard could reach into his a drawer by his bedside, hope having encouraged him to keep lube and condoms in there. He drew them out, pressing a soft kiss to the back of Alfie’s hand when he reached for him.

‘Do you want me to use a condom? I know we’re both clean, but… no? You sure?’

Alfie nodded shyly, a smile tugging at his lips.

‘I’m sure. Now, get down here.’

He tugged Leonard down with perhaps greater force than either of them were expecting, a winded laugh escaping him as Leonard hastily caught himself on his forearms.

‘Eager, huh?’ he grinned, a hand snatching up the lube before it could roll off the bed. ‘Lucky I am too. Been waitin’ for so long to have you.’

‘And I’ve been waitin’ even longer,’ Alfie breathed, the laughter fading as he looked up at Leonard like he was worshipping at an altar. ‘I need you, Leo.’

Guilt flared in Leonard, but he tried not to let it show as he pressed an adoring kiss to Alfie’s lips, sinking down between his legs.

‘Gonna make love to you,’ he said hoarsely, slicking his fingers with lube. ‘Gonna make you scream for me.’

He mouthed at Alfie’s inner thigh, eliciting a shiver, then slowly pushed his legs further apart, reaching down to stroke the pad of his finger over his hole. Alfie’s breath stuttered, his fingers tightening on the duvet beneath him, and Leonard soothed him with a soft kiss to the inside of his knee.

‘You ever had anything inside you before?’

‘Just-just my fingers.’

‘And you’re still okay?’ Leonard asked quietly, circling his finger to get him used to the feeling.

‘Yeah,’ Alfie whispered, bearing down ever so slightly. ‘Please, Leo.’

‘I know, baby.’

As gently as he could, Leonard pressed his finger in, meeting little resistance as he slowly slid it deeper, curling it towards the little bump that he knew was _right…_

_'Ah!’_

When he stroked lightly over it, Alfie let out a breathy cry, knees drawing up.

‘Found that quick,’ he gasped, a hand coiling around the arm supporting his weight.

‘I’m a doctor, honey,’ Leonard said hotly, sucking a lovebite into his hip. ‘Ain’t you lucky?’

Alfie’s vague reply was cut short as Leonard rubbed mercilessly at his prostate, curling a hand around his cock as he writhed, gently squeezing the base. Leonard teased another slick finger around his hole, and he pushed his hips up into Leonard’s hand, moaning freely.

‘I’m gonna open you up nice and slow, darlin’. Gonna take my time with you.’

Leonard’s erection had begun to ache, the urge to sink straight into Alfie blinding, but above all else, he wanted to make it good for him. As he gently, slowly fingered him, he stared down in awe at the beauty of the man beneath him. Alfie was a vision, his gorgeous dark hair plastered across his face as he arched into Leonard’s hand, chasing his pleasure with swollen lips parted in an ‘O’. He whined when Leonard stretched him open on three fingers, cock twitching and drooling precome as his prostate was stroked and teased, and when Leonard bent to swipe his tongue over a swollen nipple, he cried out brokenly, his desperation clear.

‘Please, Leonard,’ he begged, sweat-drenched and trembling. ‘I can’t wait any longer.’

Neither could Leonard, so with a soft, lingering kiss to Alfie’s lips, he carefully withdrew his fingers, finding the lube with relative ease.

‘Still sure about the condom, honey?’ he asked, gently dabbing more lube in and around his entrance.

Alfie nodded, chest heaving and hips twitching into Leonard’s hand.

‘And you still want this?’

‘Yes!’ he insisted, his voice cracking as he reached for him. ‘I want this. I want you.’

Leonard’s arousal had reached fever-pitch, and it was only fuelled by the passionate kiss he was pulled down into, his shaking hands passing over shifting muscles with a thrill of disbelief. Here in his arms was the man he’d been pining after for three years, the man who waited all that time, who was alive, and beautiful, and _his._ He stroked his thumb lovingly over Alfie’s cheekbone as they parted, snatching up the lube once more to slick his cock. He tried not to linger, no matter how good it felt, and settled between Alfie’s legs. They kissed lazily as Leonard pushed a pillow beneath Alfie’s hips, stroking the outside of his thigh as Alfie drew his knees up, pupils blown with arousal.

‘Ready, darlin’?’ Leonard crooned, taking himself in hand and rubbing the leaking head of his cock over his loosened hole.

Trembling with desire, Alfie nodded, bearing down against him.

 _‘Now,_ Leo.’

The first gentle thrust was exquisite, and Leonard pushed into Alfie’s tight warmth with a long, low moan, shaking in the effort not to hurt him. Alfie’s breath hitched as he was breached, and he clung to Leonard; it didn’t seem to Leonard’s sharp eyes that he was in pain, but there was certainly a little discomfort there. They panted together, eyes locked, Leonard determined to remain still for as long as Alfie needed, despite his own burning arousal. After a few long moments, Alfie began to relax, his muscles un-tensing and his hands sliding over Leonard’s back.

‘I love you,’ he whimpered, his breath audibly shaking.

His hair had fallen into his eyes as it habitually did, and Leonard fondly, lovingly, tucked it behind his ear.

‘Love you too, sweetheart. Am I okay to move, or do you need a little longer?’

‘You’re okay,’ he replied softly, kiss-swollen lips parting as Leonard gently rocked his hips. _‘Leo.’_

Leonard sucked a pink mark just beneath his ear, withdrawing almost to the tip and pushing slowly back in, groaning at the feeling of the velvet heat around him. Pulling back to make sure Alfie was all right, he found a face no longer filled with discomfort, but with pleasure, and when he began a slow, deep rhythm with his hips, Alfie moaned softly. He hitched a leg higher over Leonard’s hip, and when Leonard found his prostate a few moments later, the desperate, high-pitched sound he made was enough to make Leonard’s stomach fizz.

‘That’s it, angel,’ he purred, stroking his thumb over the outside of a thick bicep as he rocked into him. ‘I wanna hear you.’

Frantic though they might have been before, Leonard was determined to make love to Alfie so slow and sweet that he’d be out of his mind with pleasure by the time he came. It was difficult for him not to fuck his way into that gorgeous tight heat, especially when his love was whimpering beneath him, but making it good for Alfie was more important to him than anything. Supporting himself on his forearms so that he could see Alfie’s face, Leonard gently fucked deeper into him, watching his face contort in rapture and hearing his hoarse cries with overwhelming desire.

‘Leo,’ Alfie gasped, a hand sliding up to clutch at his hair. ‘Honey, I need- I _need…’_

‘I know, darlin’,’ Leonard murmured, a soft, shaky moan escaping him as Alfie squeezed around him. ‘I know what you need.’

He let one hand drop to Alfie’s cock, the precome drooling from the tip easing the way as he began smoothly stroking him, bending to suck on a nipple as he did. Alfie all but howled, his legs trembling as he fought for traction on the duvet, and Leonard felt a coiling in his belly, a sure sign that he wasn’t going to last much longer. He worked his hips a tiny bit harder, slowly building speed as he pushed relentlessly against Alfie’s prostate, releasing the swollen nipple from his mouth in order to gasp for breath.

‘Close, sweetheart?’

‘Yeah,’ Alfie moaned, his breathing punctuated with soft whines and his hands splayed wide on Leonard’s back. _‘Leonard.’_

That whimpered name became a litany as Leonard circled the wet head of his cock with his thumb, rocking into him in the same slow, measured way he had been since the beginning. Both of them were trembling, Leonard’s legs barely holding up as he gently fucked Alfie into oblivion, a choked cry escaping as the coil of pleasure in his belly began to tighten.

‘C’mon, Alfie,’ he panted, watching him arch his back with a groan of ecstasy that rose from his chest. ‘That’s it, baby, come on.’

He ground their hips together, flicking his thumb against Alfie’s frenulum, and Alfie wailed, his hands tightening spasmodically on Leonard’s shoulders as his cock pulsed between them, spilling over their bellies. Seeing Alfie so wracked with pleasure left Leonard gasping, his hips stuttering in an unsteady rhythm, and as Alfie’s pleasure began to subside, Leonard’s ignited. His climax stole the breath from his lungs; he felt a howl tear painfully from his throat as a wave of ecstasy rippled through him, Alfie’s arms encircling him tightly as he shuddered.

When the dizzying pleasure began to subside, he noticed that a warm hand was carding through his hair, tugging gently at the roots. Alfie’s other arm still held him tight to that broad chest, and when Leonard could summon the energy to do so, he brushed his lips against whatever skin he could reach, humming in contentment.

‘Amazing,’ he murmured, levering himself up enough to kiss him tenderly, their lips moving slowly and softly together. When they parted, Leonard lingered for a moment, speaking against his mouth. ‘You’re amazing, Alfie.’

Looking totally blissed out – his hair wildly, _beautifully_ dishevelled, and a gorgeous, wide smile on his lips – Alfie replied, ‘So are you. My legs are officially useless.’

Leonard let an amused huff of air out through his nose, indulging himself with another warm kiss before preparing to pull out.

‘This might sting a little, darlin’.’

As expected, Alfie winced slightly as he slipped out, reaching out plaintively as Leonard made to stand.

‘I’ll be back, sugar, don’t you worry. Two minutes.’

He trailed a hand over Alfie’s thick bicep as he stepped, shivering, from the bed, his legs feeling troublingly weak. Once inside the fresher, he made quick work of cleaning himself up, then made his way back into the bedroom with a warm cloth and towel, grabbing a tube of cream from his Medikit on the way. Alfie was waiting with half-lidded eyes, gloriously, unashamedly naked atop the duvet, and if Leonard hadn’t just had a brain-blistering orgasm, he was sure his dick would have been at full mast again. Crawling back onto the bed, he gently wiped down Alfie’s stomach and softened cock, then moved the cloth lower.

‘Will you bear down for me?’ he asked, pressing a kiss to the inside of his knee as he flushed. ‘I know it’s a little embarrassing, honey, but it’s only me.’

Alfie did as he was bidden with a face as red as a tomato, and Leonard lovingly cleaned him up, dabbing the cream around his sore hole – numbing and healing in equal measure. When he was done, Leonard dropped it all on the floor, instead picking up the padd he’d more carefully abandoned on the desk. Pulling the duvet up over them both, Alfie snuggled into him, and Leonard pressed a kiss to the top of his head as he switched the padd back on.

‘Can I show you somethin’?’

‘Of course,’ Alfie smiled, sleepy and sated beside him. ‘What is it?’

Leonard answered with his hands, tipping the padd towards him with the pictures of Joanna still smiling out from the screen. It took a moment for Alfie to adjust his eyes, but then his breath caught, and soft grey eyes met his.

‘Is this..?’

‘My little girl,’ Leonard confirmed, voice rough with emotion.

Silently, Alfie scrolled through the images, his expression open and sweet as he brought the final one up. Joanna and Leonard were at a children’s party in an open field; while Leonard didn’t care much for parties, fields, or indeed, the particular bratty child whose birthday it was, it had made his daughter happy for him to be there. She was in a blue and white sundress, wore ribbons in her hair, and she had one little arm slung around Leonard shoulder as they smiled into the camera. Leonard remembered that day as if it were yesterday – her contagious laugh, her unravelling shoelaces, and the eventual skinned knees because of them.

‘She’s beautiful,’ Alfie whispered, reverent.

Leonard noticed with gratitude the present tense there, a small, painful smile curling his mouth.

‘Yeah, she is.’

They scrolled through the pictures together for a while, before Leonard drew the padd away, putting it carefully inside the drawer of his bedside table. When he lay back beside Alfie, pulling him into a warm embrace, he saw hesitancy in his eyes.

‘What is it?’ Leonard whispered, terrified for a moment that he’d decided that this was all a big mistake.

‘I…’ Alfie paused, and Leonard squirmed. ‘You love the kids don’t you?’

The terror dissipated slightly, but wariness remained.

‘You mean Liora and Theo? Of course I do. They’re practically mine.’

Alfie smiled faintly, his fingers playing over Leonard’s chest. He obviously wanted to say something, and Leonard waited patiently, convinced - for now at least - that he wasn’t going to up and leave.

‘Do you think you’ll ever want another?’ Alfie blurted, horror immediately overtaking his face as he realised what he’d said. ‘I-I mean, it’s okay if you’re don’t. I want you more than anythin’, no matter what, and-’

He stopped. Leonard saw him bite his lip, hard enough that blood began to well in the depression left behind, so he reached up to gently move the tender skin out from beneath his teeth with a thumb. There was guilt racking Alfie’s expression, yet while the question might once have forced him back into a pit of despair, now, he felt only a bittersweet kind of nostalgia. He missed being a parent, and while Joanna would always and forever be his little girl, when he thought of Alfie sweeping Theo up into his arms, there was a faint longing that rose alongside the memory. Alfie, clearly petrified, watched him with wide eyes, and Leonard soothed him with a gentle, lingering kiss. When he pulled away, he cradled Alfie’s cheek in his hand, stroking his thumb over his cheekbone.

‘Maybe,’ he said hesitantly. ‘Maybe one day Jo can have a sibling. I’ve seen how good you are with babies, and I love then myself, but… not yet. Not quite yet.’

Alfie nodded, seeming unable to suppress the tiny smile that crept onto his lips as he leant up to kiss Leonard once more.

‘That you even consider it a possibility is amazing,’ he said breathlessly, settling down in his arms. ‘I-I love you.’

Leonard’s tired smile echoed Alfie’s own. He’d never get tired of hearing that.

‘I love you too. So much.’

He pressed his lips to Alfie’s brow as they settled down, his new partner warm and solid in his embrace. Calling the lights down, he manoeuvred Alfie so that he was holding him against his chest, comfortably tucked into his side.

‘It’s prob’ly best we go to sleep,’ Alfie yawned, his splayed hand settling on Leonard’s chest. ‘I’d rather stay up with you, though.’

‘I ain’t goin’ anywhere, darlin’,’ Leonard murmured, tightening his grip. ‘You’ll see me in the morning. Besides, you’ll need your energy; Jim’ll have us on some fool journey soon enough.’

‘Out into the stars,’ Alfie breathed, sounding ridiculously happy about it.

Leonard huffed out a gentle breath through his nose, closing his heavy eyelids.

‘Boldly goin’ where no one has gone before,’ he snorted, stroking Alfie’s back. When there was no response, the full horror of what they’d agreed to washed over him. At least they’d be together. ‘Jesus Christ. I’ll be patchin’ y’all up ‘til kingdom come.’

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to write something more for Alfie and Bones for ages, and I think a few of you wanted to read more, so I hope this lives up to expectations! You all know how much I adore Jim and Spock, but having gone from having no plans for a relationship for Bones to creating Alfie and falling in love with him, I wanted to tie up loose ends in their own tiny fic. I hope you've all enjoyed it - please leave a comment below if you did! And, as usual, I'm right [here](http://pastmydancingdays.tumblr.com/) if you fancy catching me over on tumblr :)


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